


The Amber Kimono

by junko



Series: the distance between us [21]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-12
Updated: 2012-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-07 14:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Byakuya has shown up in Renji’s quarters, and now Renji has to decide if he wants to give in or kick the captain out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Amber Kimono

Though a thousand things rushed through Renji’s mind at the sight of Byakuya sitting at the foot of his bed, the only one that kept circling back around was: _goddamn it,_ _my room is a mess_. The dress uniform he’d paid so much for was rotting in a wet pile in one corner, what few other things he owned were scattered around haphazardly, and he hadn’t even pulled up the sheets after his early afternoon nap.

Byakuya didn’t seem to notice any of it. Instead, he stared intently at his hands, folded in his lap. He must have come from his quarters, because his head was bare of the kenseikan and he was dressed for bed. His kimono was a dark amber silk with embroidered hummingbirds along the hems—the very one he’d worn that night he and Renji had shared a bed and nothing more.

_Oh. But, so much more._

Renji’s jaw set seeing it again. Had Byakuya made a conscious choice to put on that particular robe? If he’d been hoping the sight of it would soften Renji up, it was having the opposite effect. Renji’s fists curled into tight balls. “What are you doing here?” He snarled, “Seriously, you can’t possibly think I’ve forgiven you. Or where you hoping I’d come back drunk enough to fall back into bed with you?”

Byakuya didn’t look up, “No, of course not.”

“Then what the hell are you doing here?”

The captain’s lips thinned, but Renji felt a slight increase of reistsu that seemed to reach for him, like the offer of a hand or a gentle caress.

Feeling himself wanting it, Renji flinched. He pushed away the sensation with his hands, “Stop that. If you came here to talk to me, talk. Otherwise, get out.”

At that Byakuya’s eyes finally snapped up, as if surprised by the threat.

“Yeah,” Renji said, meeting his gaze steadily. “You heard me. If you don’t have anything to say, you can go. So cough it up, already: what do you want from me?”

“I… don’t know,” Byakuya said, clearly struggling to admit even that much. His gaze seemed to tremble, until he had to turn his face away, “The Third Seat told me you had a date. I found that… bothered me.”

‘ _Bothered?’_   Wow, they should book the reception hall now. But, which one of them would wear red? Renji shook his head to banish this snarky train of thought. “So, let me get this straight. When you heard I had a date, you decided to wait in my room? Planning to surprise us, where you?"

Byakuya returned his gaze to Renji sharply. His eyes narrowed slightly. “So it was true?”

Gods, but he was a jealous one. Renji decided he’d see just how jealous the captain could get. With a wicked smile, he leaned back against the wall. “Yeah, and you know, it was a real date too-- holding hands, being seen together--not just fucking in the dark. Imagine that.”

Renji could see the way Byakuya’s breath quickened with anger, and he was forced to turn to stare at the wall again. Ha! That was some real emotion! And, considering the spike in reistsu that sent curtains flapping, it was clearly a direct hit. Byakuya’s voice was calm, but tight. “Perhaps it was foolish to come here, after all.”

“God knows, you wouldn’t want to do anything _foolish_ , Taicho.”

Byakuya stood up, turning his back to Renji. The curtains continued to dance in the wind of Byakuya’s spiritual pressure. “I don’t think you understand. It’s taken everything I have to come here like this.”

Of course Renji _understood_. It had cost him a monumental amount of courage to tell Byakuya he loved him. Now the captain wanted sympathy for this big act of bravery? Showing up and saying he was ‘bothered’? How hard was that? Renji snorted. “Excuse me if I’m a bit underwhelmed.”

“Indeed. What would it take to impress you, I wonder?”

“You could start with an apology.” Renji said, hating talking to Byakuya’s back. If he didn’t turn around soon, Renji was going to grab the captain by the shoulders and force Byakuya to face him. “But, honestly, you’ve already lost points by needing me to tell you. That you didn’t say sorry first thing makes me wonder if you have any idea what you put me through this morning.”

“I knew.” There was, at least, the tinge of regret in Byakuya’s voice.

“Then that just makes you a real bastard.”

The curtains dropped at the same time as Byakuya sighed, “I suppose it does.”

Renji knew that was it; that was all he was going to get by way of an apology. And, he hadn’t even gotten it face-to-face. Byakuya continued to stand with his back to him. Renji jaw flexed. “I still don’t understand what you’re doing here. Because, frankly, you’re just pissing me off.”

Byakuya’s soft chuckle surprised Renji. “Yes. This,” he said quietly, almost as though to himself. “This is what I miss when you’re not around.”

“You miss me being irritated enough to want to punch you?”

“Just so,” Byakuya turned around finally, though his eyes stayed focused at something just beyond his feet.

Renji hated himself for finding the man beautiful at this moment, with his feet and hair bare in that way that made Byakuya seem so much softer, younger. He had to hold on to himself to keep from rushing up and taking Byakuya into his arms. Pulling his gaze from Byakuya with difficulty, Renji stared out the door. “You should go before I do something stupid, like let you get away with this. I told you I loved you and you…” _you cut me, broke me_. But, Renji wouldn’t say that. Instead, he said, “you think that coming here and telling me you miss me is the same?”

“It’s the best I can give you.”

Despite himself, Renji knew it was true. This was Byakuya out on a limb, exposed, and vulnerable. Turning to look at him again, Renji scowled. _Some day_ , he thought, _I’m going to see you down on your knees for real_.

“Fine,” Renji said, and with a frustrated grunt he dropped his hands to his sides. “But I don’t want you in my bed right now. Maybe…” he shook his head at himself, at his weakness for this man, “Maybe tomorrow.”

Renji stepped aside to let Byakuya know he was free to go. With a slight nod of his head, Byakuya moved to leave. He slowed as he passed Renji, a hand reached out to rest, lightly, against Renji’s chest, right over his heart.

Renji looked up at that and their eyes met. It was there, in his gaze-- that slight quiver of desire that Renji so adored. “Very well,” Byakuya said. “I’ll wait for you.”

Then, he let his hand drop and Byakuya left in a soft swirl of silk.

#

 

Renji stood in the doorway for a long time, his mind reviewing the whole scene with Byakuya, trying to make sense of the man. Finally, he gave up, and began systematically cleaning his quarters. As he sorted and straightened, Renji decided he’d probably never have any answers where Byakuya was concerned.

“What do you think of it all, Zabimaru?” he asked, much later, when he finally lay down in his narrow cot. “You still think he’s worth pursuing?”

_Always_ , said a slithering voice.

_He’s already begun to change_ , added the deeper one. _He just hasn’t realized how much yet._

Even though Renji couldn’t see what Zabimaru did, the zanpaktō’s words comforted him. He drifted to sleep.

#

 

Renji woke up still dressed from the night before feeling like he hadn’t slept at all. Surprisingly, despite how late he’d been up, he hadn’t overslept. The loud chattering of birds had woken him early enough to make it down to the mess hall in time for breakfast. Everyone in the Sixth seemed subdued this morning, the Monday after a holiday, and, after gobbling his food without really tasting it, Renji sat at a table by himself nursing a fourth bowl of tea.

It smelled like fish.

He frowned at his reflection in the dark liquid, remembering breakfast with Byakuya at the Imperial Palace. He smiled grimly at the memory of Byakuya in the morning, his usually perfect hair a slight tumble, his face so relaxed and open. There was nothing more beautiful than that in the whole world.

“Good morning, Lieutenant Abarai!”

Renji looked up to see Rikichi, the little unseated officer with the eyebrow tattoo and beads in his hair settling into the spot next to him. Renji gulped more tea, and managed a mostly civil, “Morning.”

“I’m glad you and the captain are back,” he said. “It was kind of crazy around here without you.”

Renji grunted. “I’m glad you managed to stay out of trouble.”

Rikichi smiled as if that was the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard of, “Me? You never have to worry about me, sir.”

Renji had to resist tousling the boy’s hair. Instead, he stood up. “Sorry, but you reminded me that I’d better make sure my disorderlies don’t think they’re off the hook yet.”

The kid gave him a little salute-wave with his chopsticks. Renji chuckled as he walked away, though he did have to wonder how he’d ended up with such a soft-hearted, cheerful soldier under his command. He’d have to find a way to toughen the kid up eventually.

#

 

It felt good to yell at his delinquents, but it was just awkward when Byakuya came down to observe the practice yard as usual. The captain behaved utterly properly, of course. He never even spared Renji a glance or increased his reistsu in a secret greeting. But, what distracted Renji almost to the point of breaking was a smell: the delicate scent of the captain’s tea, like subtle orchid blooms.

“Damn you, anyway,” Renji muttered before striding out into the yard. “Oi, Rikichi, get out here. I’m going to kick your ass.”


End file.
